


Scratch That

by bittersweetwhimsy



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst??, M/M, Other, but with a twist, gyuhao is onesided, i can ruin your life with a stroke of this pen au, more angst than i thought
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 10:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13292982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittersweetwhimsy/pseuds/bittersweetwhimsy
Summary: “Did you really order a pen from Amazon? You could’ve gone to the convenience store and bought some.” Seokmin speaks.“It’s not just any pen. It’s a life changing pen.” Myungho says ‘life changing’ with finger quotes.“Are you serious?”“Aren’t you curious how life changing it is?” Mingyu picks up the notebook it came with. “Look! It even came with its own notebook.” His giant hands nearly cover the emblem on the center of the gray leather notebook.Myungho wrinkles his nose. “It screams fake sophisticated all over in person.”





	Scratch That

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the1the8](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the1the8/gifts).



> hi the1the8! umm.... this fic took a lot darker twist than i meant it too.... so i'm going to post a more light hearted one. i hope this turned out to your liking! i also apologize for posting it so late in the day!

Myungho thanks the nurse before leaving the nurse’s office. He feels like he has a black eye. He probably will get a decent shiner in the morning.

“Myungho are you okay?” A tall boy with the smile of a thousand sun frets over him. “Sorry Jihoon hyung hit the ball over that fence.”

“Yeah I just need to ice my face for the rest of the day.”

The two walk toward their lockers. “What were you doing out in those fields?”

“I just wanted a change of pace-.“

“MYUNGHO! SEOKMIN!” A tall boy comes hurtling towards them.

“Oof!” The two nearly fall over from the impact.

“Mingyu! You can’t run at us full speed.” Myungho scolds. 

“Sorry.” He sheepishly replies. The tallest immediately brightens up, “You guys won’t believe what I got in the mail the other day!”

Myungho throws shifty eyes at the tallest, “Is it all the weird stuff I watched you throw in your cart from Amazon?”

“Yeah!”

“Sounds fun. I got time today.

“What about you Myungho?”

He opens his locker, pulling out his backpack. “I guess.”

“It’ll be tons of fun!” Mingyu slings each arm around the boys.

“Watch the eye doofus!”

“Wait why do you have a black eye? Did you get into a fight?”

“I’m about to get into a fight with you.” Seokmin holds back Myungho.

 

* * *

 

The trio are scattered about in Mingyu’s bedroom. Seokmin watches from the computer chair, Myungho, with an ice pack over his face, from the bed, while Mingyu sits next to the room entrance, to block his family members from entering in.  Packing peanuts lay haphazardly next to the open package.

“Did you really order a pen from Amazon? You could’ve gone to the convenience store and bought some.” Seokmin speaks.

“It’s not just any pen. It’s a life changing pen.” Myungho says ‘life changing’ with finger quotes.

“Are you serious?”

“Aren’t you curious how life changing it is?” Mingyu picks up the notebook it came with. “Look! It even came with its own notebook.” His giant hands nearly cover the emblem on the center of the gray leather notebook.

Myungho wrinkles his nose. “It screams fake sophisticated all over in person.”

“How did it look online?”

“Didn’t even know it came with a notebook. We thought it was just a pen.”

“Alright, what other goodies did you get?”

Mingyu shuffles around in the packing peanuts. “Let’s see~. There’s an enamel baseball pin –“

“You don’t play baseball!” Seokmin protests.

“-, a camera pin, multi-colored fruit scented color pencils, a sketchbook-,”

“Oh, that should be mine.” Myungho raises his hand. Mingyu rolls his eyes and continues.

 “and a twentieth anniversary One Piece Tony Tony Chopper figurine!”

“You don’t even like One Piece!” Seokmin rolls over to Mingyu.

“It’s for Jihoon hyung’s birthday!” Mingyu puts the figurine back in the bubble wrap bag before Seokmin can roll over it with his chair. “Myungho, do you need a new ice pack?

“You’re getting him an anime figurine for his 18th birthday?” He waves his hand at Mingyu. “Yeah. Go get it for me.”

“Yes! Because he likes the show!” The tallest sighs. “Fine, lazy bum. Give me your current pack.” He takes the defrosted ice pack from the younger, and leaves the room. Myungho snaps up as soon as Mingyu leaves.

“Seokmin go watch for Mingyu’s return.” He whispers. Myungho walks over to the notebook and pen.

“What are you doing?”

“Just testing out this pen.” He flips open his sketchbook. The ink swirls onto the page forming soft curls of frosting. Following the frosting, comes the soft sponginess of the cake.

“Dude, that cake looks really good.” Seokmin peeks over Myungho’s shoulder.

“Thanks, but I can’t draw like this yet.”

“You sure? You just drew it.”

“I sort of drew it. The pen did all the wo-.” Myungho stops talking when he notices the drawing pull itself out from his sketchbook. “The fuck?” Two set of bulging eyes watch the cake spring up from the pages.

Seokmin repeatedly smacks his hand against the other’s arm, “Is that cake real?”

Before Myungho can answer, they can hear Mingyu’s thudding footsteps on the stairwell. Myungho grabs the cake piece and shoves it in his backpack.

“Hey- wait Myungho where are you going?”

“Home. Sorry, my mom just called me to go pick up some carrots.”

Mingyu turns to Seokmin, “Doesn’t he hate carrots?”

“Probably frozen carrots for his eye.”

 

 

* * *

 

The snow stops just in time for musical practice. Of course. One can never trust the weather in late November.

“Guys be careful!” Junhui calls out. Mingyu and Soonyoung are running around in the snow by the music hall door.

“Junhui you’re fretting too much.” Jihoon states, wrapping his scarf for more warmth.

“It wouldn’t be Junhui if he didn’t.” Wonwoo quips. A snowball smacks Wonwoo squarely in the face. Jihoon lets loose a boisterous laugh. “Which one of you punks did it?!”

Hiding behind Mingyu, is Soonyoung’s blonde hair peeking out. Wonwoo motions for Junhui to come help him.

“Guys wait up!” Seokmin hollers from the parking lot. Myungho is still gathering his textbooks and french horn.

“No can do! Wonwoo is going to get me with a snowball the size of Jihoon’s torso!”

“Only to get even.”

“Junhui! Jihoon! Stop him!” A snowball hits Soonyoung squarely in the back. “Wait a second! Junhui you’re supposed to be stopping him!”

Junhui gives the biggest smile. Jihoon simply shrugs.

“SEOKMIN!”

The quartet turns toward the sounds of screeching tires.

On the pavement is Seokmin.  Seokmin appears unharmed, just shocked. Myungho is standing next to the halted car, breathing heavily, his face red.

“Watch were you’re going idiot! You could’ve hit the both of us!” Myungho is yelling at the driver. Junhui checks up on Seokmin. Soonyoung pulls Myungho back from the car.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING DRIVING RECKLESSLY IN A SCHOOL PARKING LOT?!” Jihoon slams his hand against the car. Wonwoo glares at the driver.

Mingyu can only watch in mute shock. His legs collapse into the snow. They’re alive. That’s all that matters. They’re alive.

“Mingyu are you okay?” Seokmin’s gentle touch on his forehead, makes him look up. The former has a few tears still on his face.

“Your butt is going to be cold, wet, and frozen from sitting in the snow.” Myungho comments. His French horn case is slung across his back.

“I should be asking if you guys are okay.” Mingyu laments, “I’m not the one who was nearly hit by a car.”

“It’s fine. We’re here scolding you for sitting in the snow.”

Seokmin holds out a hand. “Let’s go inside, before the cold freezes up my vocal cords.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

He flips the notebook to the back end. The pen furiously releases inks onto the blank pages.

 

 

* * *

 

“Mingyu, wake up!” A pillow smacks his face. “It’s time for school. I’m not going to try waking you up again.”

“Seokmin you’re supposed to be nice to me.” Mingyu whines.

The other snorts, “Only when you’re awake and out of bed. Now get up.” More pillow smacking. “I mean it Mingyu. Or else I’m bringing in Myungho to get you up.”

Mingyu bolts up. “I’m up!” He runs out of the room. Anything to avoid a Myungho wake up call. The latter usually would throw anything near his hand that wouldn’t kill Mingyu if it hit his head.

 

The smell of French toast wafts through the house. A set of feet stampede down the stairs and into the kitchen.  The cook throws a wooden spoon at the incoming person.

“Hey!” Mingyu ducks in time. “What if I had been Seokmin?!”

“Seokmin never runs down the stairs like you do. Also, I would never injure Seokmin. I have no reason to hurt the sun.” Myungho turns around with a tall plate of French toasts.

“Then what am I?!”

“My sweet puppy that needs a reprimanding every once in awhile.” Myungho walks up to the elder and pinches his cheeks.

“I’m not a puppy.”

“If you’re not a puppy, then Seokmin isn’t my sunshine child.” Myungho sings-a-long. He returns to making breakfast for himself.

“Thanks for breakfast Myungho!” Seokmin grabs the syrupless toast and runs out the door.

Myungho is digging in the fridge when he calls over his shoulder. “Mingyu don’t forget to lock the door when you leave.”

Mingyu looks up to Myungho. “Are you going to be at the lab all day?”

The latter is packing some large containers into his lunchbox, “Yeah. There’s enough ingredients in the fridge for you to make beef stew tonight.”

“Make sure to eat your lunch this time, okay?”

“I’m human. Of course, I’ll eat.” Myungho smiles easily.

Mingyu pouts, “You forget to eat when you’re too focused.”

“Don’t worry Mingyu. Just make sure Seokmin comes home in time for dinner.” Myungho pats the remaining housemate.

Mingyu sighs as Myungho leaves.

 It’s been five years since the three of them were able to run around each other’s places like this. The three high school friends all went their separate ways for undergrad and then joined back up by coincidence for the same grad school. Although the three were all in different programs, they still managed to make it work.

 

 

* * *

 

Jihoon sits down with the younger. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” He stirs his coffee. Jihoon looks much older than Mingyu remembers. There’s some graying strands of hair in between the dark brown. “How have you been?”

“I’m doing good!” Mingyu chirps.

Something about Jihoon’s posture that throws Mingyu off. He’s not sure what it is. If it’s the constant drumming of Jihoon’s fingers on the table, or the way his eyebrows furrow while he tries to think of a response.

“What have you been up to lately?”        

“Good. I hang out with Seokmin and Myungho when I still get the chance.” He misses Jihoon frowning into his coffee.

“I see.” The elder takes a sip of his coffee. “What are they up to?”

“You know, busy with their grad school life.” He sighs, “Even though we’re housemates I hardly see them.”

Another sip of coffee. “Honestly, I don’t know how Junhui did it on top of acting and modeling.”

“Oh, how’s Junhui hyung?”

Jihoon’s shoulders relax. “He’s doing well. Busy traveling and what not.”

“Does Wonwoo hyung still join him on his travels?”

“Sometimes.” The tapping returns. “Why don’t you talk with Junhui as much? He misses you.”

“Him and Myungho had a falling out. It feels weird to talk to him with that over my shoulders.”

A brow raises. “Are you two dating?”

“What?! No!” Mingyu sighs over his coffee. “Myungho doesn’t seem interested past being friends with me.”

“You guys really haven’t changed since high school.”

 

 

* * *

 

“How was your meeting with Jihoon hyung?” Myungho doesn’t look up from the bowl he’s whipping.

“It was weird.” Mingyu opens the refrigerator to snag a pudding cup. He joins Seokmin at the dining table.

Seokmin puts down his pencil, “How was it weird?”

“He was frowning more than usual.”

“Did you upset him again?”

“I don’t upset him that often.” Mingyu pouts.

“Please re-evaluate your life, Kim Mingyu.” Myungho points his whisk at the pouting man.

“But I know you love me! I love you. And I love Seokmin.” A self-satisfied grin sits on his face.

Seokmin gives Mingyu a reassuring pat, “That’s why we live with you bud.”

Myungho looks up from putting the batter in a ziploc bag. “Oh, Soonyoung hyung was asking how you were doing. I told him that he needs to just text you if he wants to talk that badly.”

“Weird.” Mingyu shakes his head. “I saw him a week ago. He didn’t say anything to me.”

“Maybe something came up? Things can happen in a few days.” The eldest suggests.

“That’s true.” The tallest nods contemplatively.

 

 

* * *

 

“Mingyu!”

The man looks up from his book, “Oh, Wonwoo hyung! What’s up?”

“It’s a surprise seeing you on campus these days.” Wonwoo sits down across from Mingyu.

“Really? I still have to finish my thesis on adding solar powered bus stops on campuses.”

“Ah that’s right. Your thesis,” The elder hums.

“What are you doing on campus? I thought you finished your masters, that’s why you travel with Junhui hyung these days.”

Wonwoo frowns, “Did you forget? I’m doing my Ph. D. now.”

Mingyu blinks. He wonders when that slipped his mind. Surely the other two would’ve brought it up. “Sorry, guess all the stress of completing my thesis caught up to me.” He sheepishly rubs the back of his neck.

Wonwoo smiles softly, “Yeah, being near the end of your thesis that tends to happen. Why aren’t you at your major building?”

“For some reason, I got locked out. My student id won’t open the door.”

“Why didn’t you ask for one of your classmates to open the door?”

“I just thought I would get more done at the library today.” He returns to his book.

Wonwoo studies Mingyu. “Do you still talk to Seungkwan and Chan?”

“Not much these days. They’re busy with their final years of school.”

“I heard you met up with Jihoon two weeks ago.”

“Yeah.” Mingyu puts down his pen. “Did something happen to him?”

“No. Junhui just wants to know if he did something wrong. He hasn’t heard from you in months.”

“Nothing!” A librarian nearby shushes them. “Sorry,” He whispers. “I’m waiting for him and Myungho to make up.”

Wonwoo’s brows furrow in, “You don’t think it’s suspicious that they haven’t made up by now? Neither are this stubborn about an argument.”                                                

“Maybe it was something serious.”

“Mingyu,” The deep voice nearly hisses.

The younger puts up his hands in defense, “Seokmin told me to leave it be.” Wonwoo stands up without a word.

 

 

* * *

 

“Why is Wonwoo hyung such a grump?” Mingyu whines on the sofa. Seokmin is resting his feet on the whiner.

“Wonwoo hyung is only a grump when he’s unable to talk about something he wants to get out of the way.” Myungho is making roll cake today. “Is there something bothering hyung?”

“Now that I think about it, him and Jihoon hyung were both on edge. How unusual for both to be on edge at the same time.” Seokmin thinks aloud.

Mingyu recalls Wonwoo’s suspicions. “Hey Myungho?”

“Yeah?” The younger responds.

“Why haven’t you and Junhui hyung made up yet?”

The oven door closes, with the cake inside. Myungho sets up the timer. The younger hums, leaning against the kitchen counter, “It’s not something that can be easily forgiven.” A wry smile replaces the neutral expression. “Gyugyu you can always talk to Junhui, even if he and I are not talking. You’re his friend too.”

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t want to be the reason you lose friendships.”

“Same for me!” Seokmin chimes in.

A relieved sigh comes out, “Okay. I’ll text him to hang out when he’s free.”

 

 

* * *

 

There’s a knock on the door.

“Seokmin can you grab the door?” No response. “Seokmin, someone is at the door.” Mingyu stops chopping the vegetables. Maybe Seokmin went out a while ago. “One moment!” He hollers.  He washes his hands and opens the door. “Oh, Soonyoung hyung! How are you?” The taller embraces Soonyoung in a hug. The latter hugs back.

“I’m doing fine.” The elder stiffly responds. “Mingyu why is your place so dark?”

“Huh? Oh, I was busy cooking.”

Soonyoung looks at the dimly lit kitchen. “Shouldn’t you change your light bulbs?

“It’s fine, Seokmin will change it.” A dark shadow looms over Soonyoung’s expression.

“What did you say?”

“Seokmin will change it once he gets back.” The elder’s lip starts quivering. “Soonyo-”

“MINGYU YOU IDIOT! HOW DARE YOU BRING UP SEOKMIN! YOU KNOW HE’S BEEN GONE! HE’S NOT COMING BACK! WHY CAN’T YOU GET THAT IN YOUR HEAD!”

“Soonyoung, what are you talking about?” Mingyu can only watch in growing nervousness. “Seokmin left to go buy meat. He’ll be back in five minutes with meat and light bulbs.” He reaches for a notebook to jot down something.

“Mingyu stop.” The man takes a deep breath in between his tears, “This is why I can’t visit you as much anymore. It hurts.” Soonyoung turns around and leaves. “I don’t know how Jihoon can do this,” he mutters. The door slams shut leaving Mingyu alone in the dark.

 

* * *

 

The door opens a minute later. “Hey Mingyu!” Seokmin sets down the bags on the table, “What’s wrong? I brought the meat and lightbulbs like you asked.”

“Did you see Soonyoung hyung on your way in?”

“No. Was he coming over? Why didn’t you tell me sooner! I would’ve ran here!”

“He was yelling at me for bringing up your name. He was saying things that didn’t make sense.”

“Like what?” Seokmin washes his hands.

“He said you’ve been gone for a long time.”

“Since when does twenty minutes count as a long time?” The elder teases while drying his hands. “Besides I’m right here. I can’t go away forever.” Seokmin’s smile drops, “After all you’re the one who keeps bringing me back.”

Mingyu pouts, “I thought we established that we love each other and that’s why we chose to live together.”

“Only because it would make rent cheap for three broke grad students.” Seokmin laughs as Mingyu chases him around the apartment.

 

 

* * *

 

Mingyu spies the elder Chinese male in the coffee shop. Junhui is sporting some gray hair now. Weird. For someone who’s a model in their late twenties, gray streaks aren’t exactly a good hair style. On the table are two drinks. One for Junhui and probably the other is for Wonwoo, except he’s not certain when Wonwoo liked Jihoon’s style of drink choices.

“Hyung how are you?” He sits down on the armchair across from the elder.

The folds around Junhui’s eyes look more like wrinkles from age rather than laugh lines. The man grins with his eyes closed. “Good. How about you?”

“Pretty well.”

“I’m glad you reached out to me first. I was worried that I made you mad at me for some reason.”

“I could never be mad at you Junhui hyung. I’m like an older brother to you at times.” Mingyu smiles cheekily. “How can the older brother stay mad at his younger brother for long?”

“When did you get so cheeky towards me? I should have Wonwoo reprimand you more.” Junhui chuckles. He leans closer to Mingyu, “Although I’m curious as to why you stopped responding to me for months.”

“It-,” Mingyu hesitates. All the others reacted poorly whenever he brought up Seokmin and Myungho. He closes his eyes recollecting all the others’ interactions. He’s pretty sure Seokmin’s name the only reason the others reacted so badly. As long as he omits Seokmin’s name it’ll be fine. “It’s because you and Myungho got into an argument and I thought it would be awkward talking to you while the two of you were on bad terms.”

As Mingyu rambles on, Junhui’s face twitches. Junhui picks up his drink and sips loudly through the straw.

“But Myungho told me it was okay that the two of us could hang out. After all we’re friends too.” Mingyu feels relieved once he finishes his spew, but the grin disappears at the sight of the elder’s face. “Junhui hyung?” Tear stains run across the model’s cheeks.

Junhui blinks, unleashing more teardrops. “Huh? Oh, sorry Mingyu!” He smiles weakly. His grande mocha frappuccino is all gone. “I-I... must be tearing up from my brain freeze…” His face contorts from his usual cheerful state. “Sorry Gyu, I need to go.” The elder stands up, wiping off his tears.

“Hyung!” He grabs Junhui’s wrist. “What did I do wrong? Everyone keeps leaving me mid conversation.” This is wrong, Junhui hyung hardly ever cries in public. He hates crying in public. Jihoon, Wonwoo, and Soonyoung have all been cross with him and Junhui hardly ever does.

The elder takes a look at the lost man. In between sniffles he gets out, “Mingyu, you should visit Dr. Hong again. You’ve relapsed.”

“Relapsed? What do you mean by relapse?”

“I-I’m sorry. I can’t do this.” Junhui breaks from Mingyu’s grip and runs out of the coffee shop. Mingyu can only stare dumbfounded as other customers chatter loudly around him. He looks down at the short table to notice Junhui left the other coffee.

 

 

He stands in front of Junhui’s apartment. Wonwoo should be home. He can hear a child’s voice from behind the door. When did Wonwoo and Junhui marry? Last, he checked they were still dating. The door swings open to reveal a small boy.

“Myungie, who’s at the door?” Mingyu looks up in shock, that voice.

“A bewy tall man!” The boy runs to the other speaker.

The drink falls from his hand. “Jihoon hyung?”

“Mingyu? Ah shi-shimmer. Myungie can you go get paper towels?” The boy nods and runs off. Jihoon turns back to Mingyu. “Why did you drop your coffee at the entrance?”

“Hyung is this your place now? I thought Junhui hyung lived here.” Mingyu stands there as the coffee pools at his feet.

“Junhui does. I live with him.” Jihoon speaks slowly gauging Mingyu. “Myungsoo is our kid.”

“Who fucked up?”

Jihoon smacks Mingyu in the arm. “There’s a kid here! Watch your tongue.” He sighs. “No one. Junhui and I are married and adopted him.”

“Since when?”

“Three years ago.”

“But he was dating Wonwoo then.” Mingyu’s eyes grow big. “Did he cheat on Wonwoo?!”

“No.” Jihoon gives Mingyu a look of pity. “Maybe I should take you to the therapist.”

Therapist? Ah, that’s right Junhui had said he relapsed. Maybe this will help. “Okay.”

 

 

* * *

 

The therapist enters the room. He seems familiar. “Mingyu, what brings you in today?”

“Hello Dr. Hong. I’ve been told I relapsed.”

The therapist picks up his clipboard, “How so?”

“I’ve been living with the ghosts.”

“Have you been using the notebook?”

“I have.”

“So, what caused the relapse?”

“Instead…” He takes a deep breath before continuing, “Instead of writing about my daily activities I’ve been writing about Seokmin and Myungho. I’ve been writing what they would be doing if they lived with me.”

There’s a small intake of air, before the soft voice asks quietly, “How long have you been doing it?”

“Around three months now.”

“Mingyu.” Another sharp intake, “Tell me what you remember about your life.”

“I’m twenty-five years old, I’m currently in the graduate city planning program, about to finish up my thesis. Seokmin is studying to become a vet. Myungho is researching the breakdown of sugars in confectionary sweets.” The patient proudly recites. “Junhui hyung just graduated from grad school and Wonwoo hyung will graduate next semester. Jihoon hyung works at a recording studio as the sound engineer there.”

The therapist nods, marking down something on his clipboard.

“I live by myself in an apartment.” The voice begins to shake a bit. “Seokmin and Myungho died seven years ago.”

“It’s okay, Mingyu. Cry it out.” The warmth and comfort of the gentle hand, brings Mingyu to openly cry.

 

 

* * *

 “Jihoon-ah? This is Dr.Hong, Mingyu's therapist.”

“Oh hyung, what’s up?”

“Mingyu came in today.” He hesitates.

“Did the session go well this time?”

“No. He needs to go back through therapy and counseling again for at least a year. He still thinks he’s 25. “Jisoo looks at his notes from the session. “I understand his depression and PTSD is very strong still. Which is odd concerning we managed to get his depression to a more manageable level last year. He’s relapsed too quickly. Did something happen between last year and three months ago?”

“Ah. The car accident must’ve triggered it.”

“If I recall correctly you told me the two died in a car accident back when you were a junior right?”

“Yes.”

“What happened in this recent accident?”

“Nothing really major. Just a broken hind light and a dent in his back bumper.”

“It shouldn’t have triggered it to this extent,” Jisoo murmurs. The elder sighs before continuing, “He told me that he was living with the two of them. But the way he describes it, doesn’t seem like a grand illusion. He’s actually interacting with them as if they are alive and living with him.”

 

* * *

 

The apartment is dark and cold upon Jihoon’s entry. There’s clothes everywhere. Jihoon walks to the thermostat to turn on the heater. In the bedroom, there’s Mingyu passed out on the bed without covers. Jihoon sighs. This explains why Mingyu keeps talking about Seokmin and Myungho again. He goes to the closet to grab the spare comforter Mingyu keeps for guests and throws it on the sleeping man.

He looks around Mingyu’s desk until he spies a familiar pen and a worn-out notebook. There’s a stack of notebooks as well. Usually he’s not one for snooping through other’s things, but this situation calls for dire actions.

Jihoon flips through the worn-out notebook. On the second to last page he spies it. Myungho’s handwriting. He looks at the neat writing. He reads the words over and over until he thinks he understands what he’s reading.

 

_Hey Mingyu,_

_The pen does work. You probably haven’t realized it yet, but this pen is life changing. Whatever I write with it, happens. Sometimes not the way I expected.  I hope this pen doesn’t ruin your life. But this pen turns things into reality. Be careful of what you write in here._

_Sorry, we’re leaving first, before we even got to explore the world together._

_Mingyu, I love you._

_Seo Myungho_

 

Jihoon walks out to the balcony with the notebook. He pulls out a lighter.  The small flames eat up the notebook.

The balcony door slams open. “What are you doing?!” Mingyu runs over and tries to stomp out the flames.

Jihoon tackles the younger, “Mingyu stop! You need to let go of them! They’re dead!”

“No!” He starts wrestling out of Jihoon’s grip. “We were just talking yesterday! We were laughing about the burnt cream puffs because Minghao fell asleep.” His voice is pleading. Jihoon has gotten much stronger than he expected. As he manages to get one arm free, the flames are gone.

The notebook is gone.

Jihoon releases his grip on the taller man.

“WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! THAT WAS THE LAST THING I HAD FROM MYUNGHO!”

“Was it?” Jihoon holds up the pen. “I was told this pen has powers. But all I’ve seen is this pen destructing the life of one of my most cherished friends.” He snaps the pen in half. The ink spills onto his pale fingers. “Mingyu, you’re twenty-nine years old. You’ve been stuck in a never-ending loop of being twenty-five and living with two dead people that you kept alive by writing tales of if you three lived together.”

As the words slam into Mingyu, it starts to click. Why he knows Junhui’s current address but not that him and Jihoon married. Why Soonyoung and Junhui couldn’t initiate conversations with him. Why Seokmin and Myungho kept saying how he should be fine without them. Why he was able to answer the therapist’s questions without missing a beat. The memories hit him: Seokmin’s weak grin before he went to death with a peaceful look on his face. Myungho in a hospital gown, giving Mingyu a notebook, right before his cardiac arrest. All the memories from Seokmin’s and Myungho’s deaths to present day rush through his brain. A dam inside him breaks.

Jihoon hugs the crying giant. “It’s okay Mingyu. We can get through this together again.” He helps Mingyu into the bed. Jihoon spies the notebook pile. “Mingyu when you wake up, let’s burn some old things.”

 

 

Mingyu wakes up in the dark again. Except this time not alone. He takes in his room. It hardly looks like someone left the room. There are piles of clothes everywhere. His bed has the blankets that are reserved for guests. Jihoon is asleep next to the bed. He creeps out of his bed. Luckily the elder is a heavy sleeper.

Mingyu picks up the top notebook. The most recent page has writings of Seokmin and Myungho telling him that the meeting with Junhui will go well and not to worry. His fingers run over the words. He closes his eyes imaging their smiles one last time.

This time, it’s a permanent good bye. He takes each notebook to the balcony and burns them one by one.

“Myungho and Seokmin rest well.”


End file.
